Norfolk Island: Where Time Stands Still Ah, Norfolk Island. A tiny speck of paradise in the South Pacific, where the cows almost outnumber the people, the shops open when they feel like it, and happy hour starts before you’ve even finished lunch. My six-day trip to this quirky little island was less of a vacation and more of a crash course in island time—where plans are merely suggestions, and the word “schedule” is met with a blank stare.
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### **Day 1: Arrival – “Welcome to Norfolk Island (Maybe)”**
Our plane touched down on the island, and we eagerly disembarked, ready for the warm embrace of island hospitality. Except… there was no one there to meet us. No cheerful tour guide holding a sign, no friendly local offering a lei (do they even do that here?). Just a lone baggage handler who looked as surprised to see us as we were to see him.
We stood there, awkwardly clutching our luggage, wondering if we’d accidentally flown to the wrong island. After all, we were staying at the Aloha. Nope, the sign said “Norfolk Island.” So, we did what any rational person would do: we hailed a taxi driven by a man who seemed to know every pothole on the island by name. Off to our accommodation we went, where the receptionist greeted us with a cheerful, “Oh, you’re here! We weren’t sure if you were coming.” Neither were we, mate. Neither were we. But a fabulous choice to stay ,by the way.
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### **Day 2: Shops – “Open When We Feel Like It”**
The next morning, we decided to explore the town. Norfolk Island’s shops are a lesson in unpredictability. One minute, you’re strolling down the street, ready to buy a souvenir, and the next, you’re staring at a “Closed” sign that says, “Back in 15 minutes.” Spoiler: They weren’t back in 15 minutes. Norfolk Island: Where Time Stands Still
But fear not! While the gift shops were closed, the **Pelvic Floor Store** (yes, you read that right) was open for business. Nothing says “island adventure” like a morning spent browsing pilates equipment and wondering if your pelvic floor is up to par. I half-expected the shopkeeper to ask, “How’s your core strength?” as I walked in. I left with a newfound appreciation for my pelvic floor and a determination to never speak of this again.
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### **Day 3: Tours – “Cancelled Because Reasons”**
We’d booked a tour of the island’s historic sites, only to be told it was cancelled because… well, no one really knew why. “It’s just one of those things,” the tour operator said with a shrug. Apparently, “one of those things” happens a lot on Norfolk Island. Norfolk Island: Where Time Stands Still
Undeterred, we tried to book another tour. “Sorry,” said the next operator, “we only run tours on Tuesdays and Fridays.” It was Wednesday. Of course it was. But there weren’t enough people to run it on Tuesday anyway, and we were leaving the next Thursday.
By this point, we’d learned the island’s unofficial motto: *“If it’s not today, maybe tomorrow. Or next week. Or never.”* We spent the day wandering aimlessly, which, as it turns out, is the best way to experience Norfolk Island. We stumbled upon a herd of cows grazing by the roadside, a historic cemetery, and a sign that said, “World’s Best View” (it was pretty good, but I’ve seen better).
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### **Day 4: Happy Hour – “It’s 1:30 PM Somewhere”**
Norfolk Island’s largest bar offered a happy hour that ran from **1:30 PM to 6:00 PM**. Yes, you read that correctly. Happy hour starts before many people have finished their lunch. We decided to embrace the island’s laid-back vibe and joined the locals for a midday tipple.
The bar was packed with people who clearly had no qualms about drinking in the afternoon. We sipped our cocktails, chatted with the friendly locals, and learned that time is a fluid concept on Norfolk Island. By 3:00 PM, we were debating whether it was too early for a nap. (Spoiler: It wasn’t.)
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### **Day 5: More Tours – “Cancelled Again”**
We tried once more to book a tour. This time, we were told, “Sorry, the guide’s not feeling well.” Fair enough, we thought. Even tour guides need a sick day. But then we found out the guide had gone fishing instead. Classic Norfolk Island.
At this point, we gave up on tours altogether and rented a car. Driving on Norfolk Island is an adventure in itself. The roads are narrow, the cows have right of way, and the GPS is about as reliable as the tour operators. But we managed to see most of the island, including the famous **Emily Bay**, where we swam in crystal-clear water and pretended we were in a postcard.
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### **Day 6: Departure – “See You Never (Probably)”**
As we boarded the plane to leave, we reflected on our trip. Norfolk Island is a place where time stands still, where shops open and close on a whim, and where happy hour starts before you’ve even had lunch. It’s chaotic, unpredictable, and utterly charming.
Would we go back? Maybe. But next time, we’ll bring a pelvic floor exercise guide, a flask of coffee for those early happy hours, and absolutely no expectations. Because on Norfolk Island, the only thing you can count on is that nothing will go according to plan—and that’s exactly what makes it unforgettable.
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### **Bonus: The Highlights We Didn’t Expect**
Despite the chaos, Norfolk Island had some incredible surprises in store for us. With all the cancelled tours and closed shops, we had plenty of time to enjoy the island’s **plentiful bird life**. The clifftop views from **Putty Bay** were absolutely breathtaking, and we were lucky enough to spot all the **endemic birds** that call the island home. From the vibrant green parrots to the elusive white terns, every moment felt like a scene from a nature documentary.
One of the most unforgettable experiences was going out on a boat that was launched from a **gantry system**. Picture this: the boat was connected to the gantry by three massive straps, which ran through a pulley system and attached to the towing hitch of the skipper’s wife’s car. She drove forward, lowering the boat into the sea like something out of a Rube Goldberg machine. Once we were on the water, the **incredible blue hues** of the ocean took our breath away. **Tropicbirds** and **shearwaters** soared above us, their wings glinting in the sunlight. It was pure magic.
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### **The Future of Norfolk Island Travel**
Here’s a heads-up for anyone planning to visit: flights from New Zealand are stopping because the planes are empty. In the future, the only way to get to Norfolk Island will be via **Australia**. So, if you’re dreaming of this quirky little paradise, start planning your Aussie detour now. Trust me, it’s worth it—pelvic floor stores and all.
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**Final Thoughts:**
Norfolk Island, you’re a weird and wonderful place. Thanks for the memories, the laughs, and the reminder that sometimes, the best adventures are the ones you didn’t plan for. And to the Pelvic Floor Store: I’ll never forget you. (But I’ll try.)
Until next time, Norfolk Island. Maybe. However, I did manage some great shots . These trips link back to my view on life after surgery.
Click on the link to my pictures of the Norfolk Island Birds including these endemics:
- Norfolk Island Parakeet
- Slender-billed White-eye
- Norfolk Island Morepork (Boobook)
- Norfolk Robin
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